Once upon a time I embarked on a journey to try and calm the monsters that live inside of me - GardensDB Browse [ ![](/images/leaf_icon.svg) Gardens**DB** ](https://gardensdb.com) [ Gardens ](https://gardensdb.com/gardens) [ Shows ](https://gardensdb.com/shows) [ Studios ](https://gardensdb.com/studios) [ People ](https://gardensdb.com/people) [ Search gardens, designers, shows… ](https://gardensdb.com/search) [ Login ](https://gardensdb.com/login?redirect_to=https%3A%2F%2Fgardensdb.com%2Fgardens%2Fonce-upon-a-time-i-embarked-on-a-journey-to-try-and-calm-the-monsters-that-live-inside-of-me) [ Register ](https://gardensdb.com/register) [ ](https://gardensdb.com/search) Discover - [ Home ](https://gardensdb.com) - [ Gardens ](https://gardensdb.com/gardens) - [ Shows ](https://gardensdb.com/shows) - [ Events ](https://gardensdb.com/events) - [ 360° tours ](https://gardensdb.com/360-tours) - [ Trails ](https://gardensdb.com/trails) People & studios - [ People ](https://gardensdb.com/people) - [ Studios ](https://gardensdb.com/studios) - [ Books ](https://gardensdb.com/books) - [ Jobs ](https://gardensdb.com/jobs) Organisations - [ Sponsors ](https://gardensdb.com/sponsors) - [ Charity & non-profits ](https://gardensdb.com/charities) - [ Collectives ](https://gardensdb.com/collectives) - [ Companies ](https://gardensdb.com/companies) - [ Education ](https://gardensdb.com/education-institutions) - [ Nurseries ](https://gardensdb.com/nurseries) Account - [ Login ](https://gardensdb.com/login?redirect_to=https%3A%2F%2Fgardensdb.com%2Fgardens%2Fonce-upon-a-time-i-embarked-on-a-journey-to-try-and-calm-the-monsters-that-live-inside-of-me) - [ Register ](https://gardensdb.com/register) Discover - [ Home Today's highlights ](https://gardensdb.com) - [ Gardens Show gardens, catalogued ](https://gardensdb.com/gardens) - [ Shows Horticultural shows ](https://gardensdb.com/shows) - [ Events Festivals, courses & open days ](https://gardensdb.com/events) - [ 360° tours Step inside, long after the show packs up ](https://gardensdb.com/360-tours) - [ Trails Curated routes through the gardens ](https://gardensdb.com/trails) People & studios - [ People Designers, judges, growers ](https://gardensdb.com/people) - [ Studios Design practices ](https://gardensdb.com/studios) - [ Books Recommended reading ](https://gardensdb.com/books) - [ Jobs Roles in the industry ](https://gardensdb.com/jobs) Organisations - [ Sponsors Organisations that back the gardens ](https://gardensdb.com/sponsors) - [ Charity & non-profits Causes behind the gardens ](https://gardensdb.com/charities) - [ Collectives Groups & community projects ](https://gardensdb.com/collectives) - [ Companies Suppliers & contractors ](https://gardensdb.com/companies) - [ Education Schools, colleges & universities ](https://gardensdb.com/education-institutions) - [ Nurseries Plant suppliers & growers ](https://gardensdb.com/nurseries) [ Submit a garden ](https://gardensdb.com/gardens/submit) [ About GardensDB ](https://gardensdb.com/help) ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/gardens/once-upon-a-time-i-embarked-on-a-journey-to-try-and-calm-the-monsters-that-live-inside-of-me/primary_image.webp?v=8bb8bc5e-2df4-49fd-9610-7010cf122a52) [Gardens](https://gardensdb.com/gardens) / [ BBC Gardeners' World Spring Fair 2026 ](https://gardensdb.com/shows/bbc-gardeners-world-spring-fair-2026) Beautiful Borders ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/awards/bbc-gardeners-world-live-gold/icon.webp) Gold Award Once upon a time I embarked on a journey to try and calm the monsters that live inside of me ============================================================================================== Designed by Alex Bushnell At a glance Show BBC Gardeners' World Spring Fair Year 2026 Category Beautiful Borders 360° Photo Border About this garden The story ----------- Living with complex PTSD and childhood trauma has shaped my life. Through nature, wildlife and art, I'm learning acceptance and self-love. This border reflects that healing journey. Living with complex PTSD and childhood trauma has had and continues to have a profound impact on my life. It is something I have denied, ignored and felt shame for living with, only to realise years later that the only way to heal is to accept that it is a part of who I am. My journey has only really began but it is a personal journey of self-reflection and healing through my love of nature, wildlife and art. I am learning to love myself, even the parts that are messy and that I use to believe were broken. The Beautiful Border is a reflection of this journey. Award Recognition ------------- - ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/awards/bbc-gardeners-world-live-gold/icon.webp) Gold Award BBC Gardeners World Live The people behind it Designer ---------- - [ AB Alex Bushnell Designer ](https://gardensdb.com/people/alex-bushnell) Look around 360° photo ------------ Loading panorama... Unable to load panorama. Click and drag to look around. Scroll to zoom. Tap and drag to look around. Pinch to zoom. Photography Gallery --------- ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/media/39754604-cfad-497d-8db5-de5b8492a79d/conversions/PXL_20260503_120025541-gallery.webp) ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/media/c6be0d79-291c-4e4a-a071-dbae255e6863/conversions/PXL_20260503_120028230.MP-gallery.webp) ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/media/dc15a589-7e88-48c8-a991-7d17877abed1/conversions/PXL_20260503_120045743-gallery.webp) ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/media/bb4143dd-ca53-43b9-9e29-34d24051e5d1/conversions/PXL_20260503_120049273-gallery.webp) ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/media/d6627ffe-a2ae-43a3-bebf-14a26fe1c8a3/conversions/PXL_20260503_120052327-gallery.webp) ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/media/ee7604ab-ff6f-42ab-ba82-e00a993c8049/conversions/PXL_20260503_120056627.MP-gallery.webp) ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/media/84e190ed-926c-4859-aeec-a87167bc5e3e/conversions/PXL_20260503_120014856-gallery.webp) ![](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/media/e291c862-4ca3-46f7-83ab-bc2924baabbb/conversions/primary_image-(6)-gallery.webp) ![]() / Photo: Brought to life by Organisations --------------- ### Sponsors 2 - [ ![Readyhedge](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/companies/readyhedge/logo.webp) Readyhedge ](https://gardensdb.com/companies/readyhedge) - [ ![Bradstone](https://cdn.gardensdb.com/companies/bradstone/logo.webp) Bradstone ](https://gardensdb.com/companies/bradstone) ![](/images/leaf_icon.svg) Gardens**DB** The world's largest collection of show gardens online, kept free, kept current, and shaped by the community that uses it. 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